


write how you made me shiver

by LilyRosePotter



Category: Crooked Media RPF
Genre: M/M, Pining, Post-Breakup AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:18:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21565744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyRosePotter/pseuds/LilyRosePotter
Summary: Lovett kept living in his empty, cluttered house, with his constantly overflowing trash can and constantly ajar back door. Pundit stopped whining at the door on Thursday nights after two months.Dan, apparently, wrote a fucking book.
Relationships: Dan Pfeiffer/Jon Lovett, Jon Favreau/Tommy Vietor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	write how you made me shiver

**Author's Note:**

  * For [speakingwosound (sev313)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sev313/gifts).

“Hey, Earth to Lovett,” Jon calls for what’s probably the third or fourth time. Lovett doesn’t look up from his phone, eyes no longer seeing, the words standing out all the same.

“_Jon_,” Jon kicks him under the table. “The waiter’s been by three times, what the fuck.”

Lovett forces himself to look up, “huh?” 

Jon sighs longsufferingly and shoves the menu into Lovett’s chest. “Pick a fucking entree. What’s so fascinating anyway?”

“Nothing,” Lovett shakes his head, scanning the menu absently. “I’m just gonna get the burger, you know that.”

Jon sighs, “could have ordered it fifteen minutes ago then.” 

“Sure,” Lovett agrees. “You were telling me about Leo and the dog park.” 

Jon rolls his eyes. “you weren’t listening,” but launches into a truly boring story that Lovett really does his best to listen to, pausing only to speak to their harried waiter.

Lovett’s admittedly not listening once again, brain spinning with questions and imagined answers. 

_“I fucking hate it when you tune out like that. I never know what’s going on in your head that you won’t share with me.” _

_“Nothing! Nothing’s going on in my head, I’m just thinking!”_

_“Be present with me then.”_

Lovett holds off for a grand five minutes before he interrupts Jon to blurt, too loud, “I didn’t know he wrote another book.”

Jon doesn’t even raise an eyebrow as he responds, even and level, “I didn’t know you still followed him on Instagram.”

“I don’t,” Lovett shakes his head. He tried, for about a month, and then it hurt too much. “Ben posted a picture of his ARC.”

“Oh,” Jon bites his lip, avoiding Lovett’s eyes.

“You have one,” Lovett accuses. “Can I borrow it?”

“Dan knows where to find you,” Jon parrots Lovett’s own words back to him. “If he wanted you to read it, I’m sure he’d send you a copy.” 

“He wouldn’t,” Lovett mutters. He doesn’t say _he knows I wouldn’t read it._ He’s no longer certain what Dan knows. Probably he never was.

Jon sighs. “You know Tommy’s almost done reading it, maybe he’ll enable you.”

“You know that’s just you indirectly enabling me; California is a community property state,” Lovett retorts automatically.

Jon flips him off, but his eyes are soft. “You’re sure you want to read it?”

Lovett rolls his eyes. “It’s a book, not a weapon. Besides, ancient history. I’m over it.”

Lovett knows Jon loves him because he doesn’t call out the obvious lie and just pushes the calamari plate over. Lovett sticks four rings in his mouth to make Jon grimace and changes the subject.

***

Tommy does loan Lovett his copy, with a muttered comment about enabling that Lovett chooses not to hear. 

It sits on his nightstand for two weeks, unopened. Lovett picks it up a half dozen times, feeling the weight in his hands, tracing the words on the cover. _The Empty Clock by Dan Pfeiffer_. He’s been telling Dan to write a mystery for years, after the first time he heard Dan spinning out a story for his niece over Skype. 

_“I’ll leave the fiction to you,” _Dan had laughed a dozen times. One more thing that’s no longer true. 

Lovett drops the book, a half dozen times, and reaches for his PS4 controller. 

***

After sixteen days of the book sitting on Lovett’s nightstand, the first thing he sees when he wakes up - if Pundit’s nose isn’t in his face, that is - and the last thing he sees when he turns the light out to sleep, he wakes up at three a.m. from a nightmare. 

He was falling, falling off a cliff by the Golden Gate bridge, looking up at the edge to see Dan watching him fall. 

Dan was holding a copy of his book in his hand, and just as he was about to blink out of view, he said low and angry “the empty clock was on our relationship.”

“Okay,” Lovett says to his subconscious. “I fucking get it.” He flips the light on, with a little more force than necessary, and picks up the book, staring at the cover again. “It’s just paper.”

The epigraph reads simply:

_“There is an ocean of silence between us… and I am drowning in it.”_

Lovett squints at it for way too long. It can’t mean- Pundit shifts in her sleep at his feet and he shakes himself. He can’t overanalyze every word of this thing, he’ll be sitting her for weeks. 

He flips the page. _Chapter One_. 

Lovett reads through to 9:30 a.m. when his backup to his backup alarm goes off, his phone screen telling him in all capital letters _JON IS GONNA KILL YOU, GO TO WORK!!!_

He drops the book on his nightstand reluctantly, dragging himself into sweatpants and into his car, brain never leaving the page he left behind. 

Dan’s book is incredible, of course it is. Detective Geoff Jackson is trying to solve a murder, where the only clue discovered on the first sweep of the site is a clock, facedown, with the batteries removed. 

The prose is clear and incredible and Geoff is a clearly drawn, compelling character, and if he has a bit too familiar of a pessimistic streak and a huge fondness for basketball, Lovett can’t fault Dan for following that first axiom: write what you know. 

Lovett barely notices Jon and Tommy’s concerned looks at the bags under his eyes, shrugs off Tanya’s grumbling about how late he is, makes jokes in the ad reads by rote. 

He spends the whole pod thinking about Geoff’s latest lead, a hanger turned the wrong way in a meticulous closet, studiously trying not to chuckle to himself at the memory of Dan’s closet, shirts lined up by color and softness. 

He spends the whole Vote Save America meeting thinking about Geoff’s partner, Stuart Webster, a lawyer who almost certainly doesn’t leave the back door ajar for their cat to sneak out into the backyard. Who’s funny and supportive of Geoff’s work but never distracting or annoying. 

It’s unfair, really, for Dan to write his fictional alter ego such a perfect partner, though that joke about the cauliflower in chapter four _was_ funny. Stuart is a largely unnecessary character, just there to flesh out Geoff’s well balanced life, turned topsy turvy by the case. It’s unfair, that they get to live out their fictional days without wondering when the bottom is going to drop out, or worse, if it never will. 

Lovett races out of the office as soon as their meeting is done, mumbling something about Pundit and a vet appointment, ignoring Tommy’s question called after him. 

He drives home over the speed limit, barely remembers to turn the car off. 

It took less than twelve hours to become addicted to Dan’s voice again, even in cold black letters on the page. 

Lovett reads through the afternoon, only getting up to feed Pundit dinner when she starts whining halfway through Chapter 14. 

He keeps reading while he microwaves a frozen dinner, pulling out the hot tray and cursing as his hand burns. He drops the tray, carrying it back to the couch, when he turns the page. 

_Geoff dropped to his knees in their kitchen, dishes still soaking in sudsy water. He looked up at Stuart, blinking a little at the pendant lights sparkling behind him, just like Stuart had promised they would in an Ikea aisle five years ago. _

_“Stuart,” he asked, voice shaking. “Will you marry me?” _

_“Geoff!” Stuart reached for his hands, face splitting into a grin as he tugged Geoff to his feet. “I thought you’d never ask,” he smirked, pulling Geoff’s face down into a kiss, tongue tracing Geoff’s chapped lips. _

_Geoff leaned into him, whole body trembling with adrenaline and joy, “that’s a yes then?” he checked, needing to hear it out loud. _

_“Idiot,” Stuart told him fondly. “Of course it’s a yes.” _

_Geoff slipped the ring onto Stuart’s finger, squeezing his hand so tightly, then pressed him back against the counter, not even minding the cold granite on his hands, kissing Stuart deeply like they could become one being. _

_They kept kissing, the whole world fading into the background, until Clover pushed between them with an insistent meow. _

_“Dads are getting married,” Stuart grinned, lifting her to settle against his chest. “You’re gonna be a beautiful flower cat.” _

_Geoff shook his head. “She’ll hate that.” _

_“Your mom will love it,” Stuart shrugged. “We should call them, our parents.” _

_“Not yet,” Geoff traced his cheek gently. “This isn’t for them. It’s for us. I want to keep you all to myself for a while, fiance.”_

Lovett sinks to his floor, narrowly missing the sticky orange chicken Pundit is already licking up. He lets the book fall to his side, heart racing, and reaches to wipe the wetness from his eyes. 

This proposal is- It’s _theirs_, or what should have been theirs, in a world where they weren’t already hurting each other before they broke up. 

Lovett leans back against the couch, closing his eyes futilely against the rush of memories, of how _fucking stupid_ he’d been.

_“It has landed on…” Lovett freezes, staring at the screen. _Will you marry me? _“That’s, ah…” he turns back to the crowd slowly, blinking to clear his eyes. _

_Dan is in the front row. Dan is in the front row, down on one knee holding… _

_“No.” _

_It leaves his mouth before Lovett is consciously aware that he’s gonna say it. He isn’t even sure if he meant to deny the moment or deny the proposal but. He doesn’t want to be _married_, he isn’t sure that this damn thing is gonna _last_, Dan still hasn’t even officially moved to LA, after half a decade of falling into each other’s beds and each other’s hearts._

_He can’t look at Dan’s face. _

_Elijah is making frantic gestures behind the soundbooth. Lovett squints at him, trying to decipher if he’s supposed to spin the wheel again or make a joke or- fuck it. _

_“And that’s our show!” Lovett says, too brightly, praying that the editing cut covers up all of this. Wishes he could rewind the tape of his life, find the spot where tonight went wrong, stop Dan from fucking everything up. _

_He looks back down at Dan, who’s still kneeling on the fucking ground, on both knees now and jerks his head towards the back room before stalking offstage, willing his shoulders not to shake. _

_Everyone saw that. Everyone saw that too intense moment that he wasn’t prepared for. Everyone saw him fail at being a _person_, fail at the longest relationship he’s ever had, fuck everything up just like he always does. _

_If he’s lucky it won’t end up all over Twitter, but he can guarantee someone caught it on video, texted it to their friends, posted it in a Facebook group. A rush over anger overcomes the anxiety. _

_How dare Dan do that to him? Interrupt what was supposed to be a perfectly good rant about small plates; leave him on a stage, caught off guard, feeling like a teenager trying to figure out if he’s been asked to prom as a cruel joke; tell Travis, Elisa, Elijah, _the whole staff_, that he was gonna propose when Lovett had _no fucking clue_. _

_The door to the greenroom slams shut behind him and Lovett has time to pace the room four times before it flies open again. _

_“Jon,” Dan’s voice sounds- scared, worried, angry. Lovett searches for the fondness underneath, can’t find it, feels his stomach drop out. _

_“How could you do that?” Lovett whirls to face Dan, shoves his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking. _

_“I thought it would be special,” Dan says immediately. “You’re so, _I’m _so proud of your show, your fans, the Rant Wheel. I figured it would be memorable and you could gloat and get well wishes and- I thought you’d like it,” his eyes pleading. _

_“You don’t know me at all then,” Lovett says, hating himself for the venom in his voice. But, “I, if I’d, I wouldn’t want to be interviewed about _that_ for the rest of my life. It wouldn’t be for them.” He gestures between Dan’s body and his own, feeling like they’ve never been further apart, even when Dan was working himself to the bone in DC and Lovett was failing in Hollywood. “_This_ has never been for them. It’s for us.” _

_“I’m sorry,” Dan reaches out a hand, tentative. “I’m sorry that I misjudged the moment. I’m not sorry I asked. I’ll ask again, if you let me, anywhere you want.” _

_“Why?” Lovett pushes, pushes, he’s always pushing. _

_“What?” Dan frowns. “Why do I want to marry you? Cause you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re so smart and you make me laugh when nothing else in the world is going right. I don’t even care that you never remember to take out the trash or won’t fix your car, I want to take care of those things for you and let you remind me to turn the oven off or make me put down my phone and go to bed for the rest of our lives.” _

_The rest of our lives. The rest of our lives. It echoes around Lovett’s head like a demonic drumbeat. He can_ see_ them. With more wrinkles and less hair and more dogs, rattling around in their cluttered house. Dan growling at him for playing video games too much. Lovett sitting through endless sports games and trying not to fall asleep. Drifting further and further apart. _

_“What’s wrong with _now_?” Lovett asks, plaintively, not really knowing himself what he means. _

_“What?” Dan blinks. _

_“We’re good now.” Lovett pushes. “We’re happy, why would we fuck it up?”_

_“Cause I’m not happy now,” Dan frowns. “I want more, I need more. I still have a _drawer_ at your place. And a spare toothbrush. I want it to be our place, my only toothbrush. I can’t keep going like this.”_

_“Two point five kids and a white picket fence?” Lovett asks a little maniacally. Dan’s beautifully spun future flickers in front of his eyes, replaced by resentment, distance, Dan realizing what living with Lovett actually means. “You’re chasing an ideal of a life. Not the one you actually have.”_

_Dan’s eyes flash. “What should I be chasing?” he snaps, “the same old, half in, half out? I don’t know if I can be with someone who isn’t all in on us.”_

_Lovett freezes, heart pounding, mind racing: this is it, he’s not enough, he’s never enough, he can’t give what Dan wants. He’s certain Dan is about to walk away and the growling empty part of his soul takes over: _let him fucking try.

_“Why do you even want to be married anyway?” Lovett spits out, feeling the ground under his feet shift to swallow him whole. “Since the last time worked out so well.”_

_Dan flinches back like Lovett’s hit him. Like Lovett knew he would when he reached for the worst thing he could possibly say. _

_“No,” Dan says, tight and bitter and angry. “No, I’m not doing this.” _

Dan walked out of that greenroom and Lovett couldn’t even watch him leave. He edited the podcast and blocked all the tweets and texted Dan once: _I’ll mail you your clothes_. 

He unfollowed Dan on Instagram a month later, found ways to be out of the office on Thursdays. Dan skipped the first two tour weekends, Lovett found an excuse to schedule _Lovett or Leave It_ across the country for the third, and Tommy and Jon finally stopped pushing Lovett, at least, to reach out. 

Lovett kept living in his empty, cluttered house, with his constantly overflowing trash can and constantly ajar back door. Pundit stopped whining at the door on Thursday nights after two months. 

Dan, apparently, wrote a fucking book. 

Dan wrote a book, and gave his main character the life they should have had. He gave Geoff and Stuart _their fucking proposal_. Lovett picks up the book again just to throw it at the wall. 

How fucking dare he?

***

“Here,” Lovett drops the book in front of Tommy the second he walks up to the table at the pretentious bar Jon and Tommy always pick when he lets them choose dinner. “This is yours.” 

“It is,” Tommy agrees levelly, looking at him carefully. “Did you finish it?”

“Maybe,” Lovett shrugs. He left it on the living room floor for two days before he couldn’t stand not knowing who the killer was and finished the last five chapters in two hours. 

“It’s pretty good,” Jon says nervously. 

“Drinks,” Lovett says sharply, reaching for the menu. He needs... a lot of alcohol for this. 

“The Moscow Mules are good,” Tommy shrugs, following the change of subject easily. “And we were thinking pizza for dinner?”

“No spinach,” Lovett nods in agreement.

They’re on their third round of drinks, two empty pizza pans between them when Jon finally calls him out. 

“Lovett, you’ve been looking over at this all night,” Jon taps the book, lying on the corner of the table. “Tell us what the fuck is going on in your head.” 

Lovett takes a deep breath. They don’t deserve this; they don’t deserve any of his crap, but they haven’t run screaming yet. 

“It’s about me,” Lovett says, barely above a whisper. 

Sometimes he can’t read the married looks Jon and Tommy give each other. Whether its the rings or the sex or the extra three years of friendship and sharing a brain, there’s some parts of them he’s never quite able to know. This look though, this look is plain as day. _His ego is _that_ big?_

“I’m _serious_,” Lovett insists. “Not the whole thing, obviously, but Stuart and Geoff…”

“Lovett,” Tommy shakes his head, eyes kind. Jon picks up the book, rifling through it carelessly and Lovett bites back the urge to yell at him for treating it like it’s just paper. “I really don’t think it is.” 

“You don’t understand,” Lovett says a little frantically. “The proposal, _it’s for us_. I said something just like that to Dan once and-” 

“Look at this,” Jon slides the book to him, pointing to a block of tiny print in the back. 

_Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental._

“That’s legalese,” Lovett frowns. “It’s just so the publisher doesn’t get sued by crazy people thinking they’re the murderer or something.”

“Lovett,” Tommy sighs. “Like you, I’m not a lawyer.” 

“I got a great LSAT score though,” Lovett says automatically. 

“Lovett,” Tommy frowns. “It’s not about you.” 

Lovett bites his lip. He’s so _sure_. Jon and Tommy know everything about him, but they weren’t _there_. They don’t know _Dan_ the way he does. 

“Lovett, you know we love you,” Jon says, gentler, bumping his ankle against Lovett’s under the table. He’s got the _face_ that means he desperately wants to give Lovett a hug and Lovett recoils on instinct. “And you know that we think that breaking up was a mistake. But,” Jon pauses until Lovett looks him in his too kind eyes, “absolutely you are seeing things that you want to see.”

“I’m not,” Lovett slides backwards, off the stool. “I don’t _want_ to see anything, I’m over him.” He takes another step back from Tommy’s pressed together lips, holding back a laugh or a snort. “I’ll Cashapp you, I‘ve got to go let Pundit out.”

“Lovett,” Jon calls after him. 

Lovett doesn’t stop.

***

Pundit barks at Lovett’s ankles, cold nose pushing into his calf. 

“No baby,” Lovett groans. “We’re doing quiet and depressed tonight remember?”

She woofs and trots away and Lovett leans his head back against the couch. He’s turned down three dinner invitations from Jon and Tommy, cancelled on Spencer for game night, and rejected Elijah’s pity text - probably prompted by Tanya - to go see the movie they’ve been talking about for weeks. 

The aftermath of his break-up with Dan’s book might be worse than the aftermath of their actual break-up. 

At least when Dan walked out the door, Lovett wasn’t left over-analyzing every word. He knew what it meant, he knew that it was the end, no secret message in sight. He still replayed every hateful word until the record player of his brain started to skip, but he knew what they meant. 

He can’t stop thinking about the words on the page. The cauliflower joke he’s more and more certain is based off a riff he did on brussels sprouts at Dan’s birthday dinner; the sparkling rose Stuart and Geoff drank the night Geoff cracked the case and the two bottles stolen from an office Winc shipment in the fridge; the proposal; the damn epigraph. 

Pundit whines and drops a tennis ball she must have stolen from Leo in his lap. 

“Pundo,” Lovett sighs, scratching her ears. “We _went_ on a walk.” 

She looks up at him, eyes mournful and Lovett sighs, “yeah, I know, I’m the worst dad.”

_“Alyssa says hi.” Dan slides his phone into his pocket as he pushes through the door, laden down with grocery bags for the secret special meal he’s promised to make tonight. _

_“Rude,” Lovett frowns. “What if I wanted to talk to her?”_

_“You have a phone,” Dan shrugs, leaning down to kiss Lovett’s curls gently. _

_“I don’t know where it is,” Lovett frowns at the mess of last night’s takeout containers and yesterday’s clothes, strewn amidst the games he’d tugged out looking for Portal 2, all abandoned when Dan picked him off the couch and carried him to bed. _

_Dan snorts as Pundit jumps around his legs, barking happily. _

_“Down, baby,” Lovett tells her halfheartedly. “You’re giving us a bad name.”_

_“She says ‘Dad doesn’t take me anywhere fun, we just look at the TV,’” Dan coos at Pundit, abandoning the bags on the counter in favor of picking her up. “Should we go to the dog park this afternoon?”_

_“Pundit hates the dog park,” Lovett rolls his eyes performatively. “The other dogs have no class.”_

_“You hate the dog park,” Dan calls his bluff. “But I’m here to protect you from the mean WeHo dog moms.”_

_“They’re judgmental,” Lovett pouts a little, letting Dan tug him to his feet with his free hand and going onto tiptoes for a real kiss. “But if you promise to keep us safe.”_

_“Always,” Dan kisses him back. _

Lovett swallows and reaches for Pundit’s leash. “We’re a mess, huh girl?”

She licks his hand happily, already prancing towards the door. 

Lovett sighs and follows her. “Yeah, yeah, we’re going.” Dan even made him a better person to his _dog_, how the fuck did he let that go? 

He’s pretty sure, walking Pundit down the street, watching her sniff at every interesting twig or fire hydrant, that pushing Dan away is the worst of the long line of mistakes that is his life. And no matter what his desperate pining brain wants to project onto Dan’s book, the chapter is closed. Lovett’s never going to get to rewrite the ending.

***

Lovett shifts on the balls of his feet as the bookshop manager walks onto the little stage in Book Soup. He barely hears her introduction, knowing what’s coming at the end of it. 

“We’re so glad to have him with us tonight, New York Times Bestseller Dan Pfeiffer.” 

Lovett’s heart is in his throat as he leans against a bookshelf, hopefully far enough away to be inconspicuous even though his traitorous legs tried to pull him closer and closer. There’s a big crowd tonight, cheering as Dan’s head, then body, appears on the side of the stage. 

Lovett’s breath catches. 

Dan looks… good. 

He looks exhausted, and he’s holding his shoulders in the way Lovett knows means his muscles are in knots it would take Lovett’s hands an hour to even soften. But he smiles at the applause, face open and pleased, like after all this time, he can’t believe anyone’s here for _him_. 

Lovett loves him so much it hurts. 

Dan grins out at the crowd, eyes sweeping over Lovett and not pausing, thank god. 

“Thank you all for coming,” he says, voice awed. “I’m gonna read a bit of the book and then sign for you.” 

His voice is steady and warm and filled with so much inflection, giving the words Lovett’s memorized totally new meaning. Lovett’s tearing up a little by the time Dan finishes, even though it wasn’t a particularly emotional passage. Dan closes his book and grins at the crowd again, as the bookstore employees shepherd him to the table set up for signing. 

This is Lovett’s cue to go, but his feet won’t move.

Lovett clenches his own copy, purchased the day it was released, in his sweaty palms. He’s not going to get in the line forming for autographs. Dan’s hopefully not even going to know he was here. He just had to see him, had to know that it wasn’t all in his head, withdrawal or Stockholm syndrome or whatever the word is for still missing the love of your life like you’re being sucked into a black hole, over a year after you last saw him. 

He forces himself to take a step back as the last few people approach Dan. His heart clenches as he turns away, eyes blurring with the loss of Dan’s face in his vision. 

He steps into something solid. 

“Shit!” an unfamiliar voice yelps and Lovett’s eyes fly open. 

There’s a woman in front of him, glancing down at her shirt which is… covered in coffee. She’s holding a styrofoam cup in her hand and cursing softly and… Lovett’s just spilled coffee all over a total stranger in this bookshop. 

“I’m sorry,” Lovett breathes, looking around for napkins or tissues or _something_.

So much for being inconspicuous, he thinks, as Dan’s voice, suddenly so close, says, “Eileen, are you alright?”

“Yeah,” the woman, _Eileen_, _Dan’s editor, thanked in the acknowledgments_, says breathlessly. “Just an accident.” 

“I’m really sorry,” Lovett whispers again, glancing, just for a second, behind him to see that Dan is walking towards them, will be close enough to touch in a few seconds, he’s gotta go. 

Lovett takes two steps away, thinks he might succeed in sneaking away for a brief brilliant instant before Dan says, voice laced with some emotion Lovett can’t pick out, “Jon?” 

“I’m sorry,” Lovett says again, turning around so slowly. He can’t look at Dan. Can’t see the judgment or anger or worst of all, apathy, on his face. “I’m leaving, I’m sorry. I’ll-” he digs for the business cards Tommy’s made him start carrying. “I’ll pay to get that cleaned, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s just a shirt,” Eileen smiles carefully. Her eyes look knowing. God, how does she _know_. “It’s replaceable.” 

“Still,” Lovett steps back again, staring at the ground instead of looking either of them in the eye. “I’m sorry.” 

Dan’s sneakered feet move towards him and Lovett forced his lungs to draw air. He’s not welcome here, he _knew_ he shouldn’t have come, but his whole body feels like it’s come home, just being in the same space, breathing the same air as Dan, after so long. 

“Lovett,” Dan’s voice is low, and steady and controlled now. “Can we talk?”

_No_, Lovett thinks. _Yes!_ His heart screams. He freezes in place, hearing Dan’s breathing as loud as his own, as Eileen moves away. 

“Not, here,” Dan glances around. Right, they’re in public. “But I really want to- There’s a diner around the corner. Please.” 

Lovett’s heart races. Dan’s asking him to talk, to have dinner, maybe. Lovett’s pretty sure he’s never been more terrified in his life; as scared that this means Dan might want what he does as he’s scared that Dan wants to yell at him or tell him to fuck off and he never wants to see Lovett again. 

“Yeah,” he hears his own voice say before he’s fully decided. Lovett does _know_ what he wants. He realized what he wants weeks ago, became more sure every time he read the already worn book that’s still in his hands. He’s not sure he can do better this time, but he _desperately _wants a second chance. 

“Okay,” Dan says cautiously. “I need to finish a few more books. Don’t go anywhere.” 

Lovett forces himself to look up, into Dan’s crystal blue eyes, where he thinks he can maybe see _something_. Dan’s not looking at him like he used to, when things were good, but he doesn’t look like he never wants to see Lovett again either. 

“I’ll be here,” Lovett promises hoarsely. “ Do what you need to do.”

***

They sit awkwardly in the diner, both ordering coffee and pie without exchanging a single word, for twenty minutes before Lovett can’t stand it anymore. 

“The book,” Lovett blurts, looking at Dan head on for the first time since they sat down. Dan visibly tenses and Lovett’s heart clenches. “It’s so good Dan.” 

Dan blinks at him, eyes wide. “Really? I thought you were gonna,” he shakes his head a little. “I don’t know what I thought"

Lovett takes a deep steadying breath. "I didn't think you thought about me at all."

Dan swallows and looks back at him, jaw set like he’s made a decision. "I wrote an entire fucking book about you."

Lovett's heart stops, Dan wrote- He was right. He thought he was crazy, but Dan _wrote about them_. Lovett has to swallow a few times before he manages, "it was about me?"

"Who else would it be about?" Dan frowns, like it’s obvious.

Lovett shrugs, heart flickering and then roaring back to life. "Jon said I was seeing what I wanted to see."

Dan shakes his head, "Jon's an idiot," then, slowly "what you _wanted_ to see?"

Lovett swallows. _Second chance_, he thinks hopefully, recklessly, and oh so slowly, slides his hand across the table, palm up, "I did."

Dan murmurs, "Fuck," and meets him halfway. 

Dan’s fingers are heavy and warm and shaking a little in Lovett’s grip. His skin is a little dry, cause he never uses lotion when he needs it and flying dries him out. His touch lights Lovett’s entire body on fire. 

Lovett can’t stand another second without telling him the truth. “I miss you,” he whispers, voice quavering. 

Dan tightens his fingers, "I miss you too. Every day writing that damned book, I missed you.”

"I'm so _sorry_,” Lovett chokes a little. “I shouldn't have said all those things, I shouldn't have let you go."

"I'm sorry for pushing you,” Dan shakes his head, eyes wide and a little wet. Lovett can feel Dan’s pulse where their hands are joined, just as fast as his own. “Marriage is something I cared about and you never- you never said you wanted that"

Lovett swallows. “I was so scared. I didn’t even stop to think if I wanted it”

Dan bites his lip. "And have you thought about it? Since?"

"Every day?” Lovett laughs, a little bitter. “I should have- I should have said yes," he admits in a whisper, "or I should have talked to you about why I needed time, at least."

Dan ducks his head, but doesn’t loosen his grip at all. "I'm listening now."

Lovett takes a deep breath, heart pounding. The truth, all of it. "You know me Dan, I've always got a foot out the door. And you- I felt myself losing all the escape routes, and worse, I didn't _care_. You asked me to marry you and I could see forever and that was the most terrifying moment of my life when it should have been the happiest."

Dan closes his eyes and Lovett’s heart cracks in two, again. "I wanted it to be the happiest. It was, for me, before it was the worst. Watching you walk away was the hardest thing I've ever done."

"Walking away from you was the worst thing I've ever done,” Lovett squeezes his hand, careful but tight, wanting Dan to feel the whole year of longing in it.

Dan’s quiet for a long moment, squeezing Lovett’s hand just as tightly before he asks, voice trembling. "Are you still scared?"

"Terrified," Lovett says soft and honest. "But now I'm scared of being without you more than I’m scared by forever." 

Dan looks back up at him finally, eyes wet and voice broken. “Living without you was barely like living at all."

“Same,” Lovett chokes back tears. “Fuck Dan, I missed you so much.”

"Me too," Dan says, just as choked. "Every second of every day."

Lovett squeezes Dan’s hand and reaches for the other, needing _more_. “Can I- can we try again?”

Dan closes his eyes. "I've imagined you saying that so many times, but," he shakes his head, "I can't do it like we did it last time."

Lovett swallows. “I know.” He does know. They were broken long before they actually broke up, neither admitting how much they felt until it was too late.

"I'm not forcing you to marry me," Dan promises, taking Lovett’s other hand gently. "But, I need more."

Lovett nods and squeezes his hands tightly. “I know. I want,” he takes a deep breath. “I want more too. And I’m not saying never on the marriage thing, really. I don’t ever want to lose you again.”

"I couldn't lose you a second time," Dan squeezes back. "I need you, still, so much."

“Me too,” Lovett swallows, “I need you too.” 

Dan looks into his eyes, open and fond and full of promise. "I never stopped loving you."

“Me neither,” Lovett’s breath catches on a sob. “I love you so much.” 

"I want to try again," Dan promises, "and I never want to let you go." 

Lovett squeezes his hands so tightly, heart flipping with pure ecstasy. "That sounds so good.”

“Fuck, I wanna kiss you," Dan squeezes back.

Lovett shivers a little with anticipation. “I want you to. Please.”

Dan slides over to his side of the table immediately, but stays a careful distance away. 

Lovett slides closer until their legs are touching, pressing his palm to Dan’s cheek so slowly. Dan’s skin is a little clammy, prickly with stubble. Lovett can feel his heart beating in a beautiful rhythm. “Hi.” 

Dan leans into his touch. "Hi, I've been waiting for this every day."

Lovett swallows around the lump in his throat. “Me too love,” and leans in until their lips meet. 

Dan sighs into it, the whole world stopping as he kisses Lovett like he’d done it yesterday and like every moment they’ve been apart is fueling it. Lovett leans closer and closer, heart pounding with adrenaline, never wanting to let go.

Dan finally pulls away, just a little. "Tell me if it's too much, please, please, tell me, but, I want you to come up to my room."

Lovett strokes his cheek gently, heart singing. “That’s all I want in the world.”

Dan shivers and turns his head to kiss Lovett's palm. "I love you."

“I love you so much,” Lovett kisses his forehead. 

Dan waves for their check, brusquer than he ever is. "We need to get out of here, so I can show you just how much I've missed you."

Lovett leans into his side with a shiver. “I like the sound of that.”.

Dan glances down and groans, "Fuck it," and drops a stack of cash on the table, pulling Lovett out of his chair and towards his rental car, still parked at the bookstore. 

Lovett laughs breathily. “Hot.”

Dan pulls him close as they walk to the car. "I want you,"

“I want you too,” Lovett nods, “Desperately.”

Dan groans. "Would it be inappropriate to pull you into the backseat?"

Lovett laughs helplessly. “No, but I want more space for what I want to do with you.”

"Fuck," Dan shivers, "Get in, the hotel is close."

Lovett grins and slides into the passenger seat. Dan grabs his hand immediately, squeezing as he pulls out of the parking lot. Lovett grins at him the whole time, whole body singing with joy. Dan keeps beaming under his gaze, turning to kiss him at stoplights.

They’re both shaking with nerves and anticipation by the time Dan parks in the hotel lot.

Dan squeezes Lovett’s hand tightly. “I love you.”

Lovett nods. He’s never gonna get tired of hearing that. "I love you, too, have for years."

Dan grins at him, wide and open. “Come to bed with me, love,” opening the car door.

"I'd follow you anywhere," Lovett promises as he climbs out of the car and reaches for Dan’s hand again immediately, pressing close. 

"I'll take you anywhere you want to go," Dan grins, pulling him inside. 

Lovett doesn’t stop touching him, the whole way inside and upstairs, pressing close to Dan’s back, relearning his curves as Dan struggles for his hotel key.

Dan leans into his touch with a groan, “fuck, Jon.”

"Let us in and there's more," Lovett kisses his neck.

Dan sighs and finally digs his key out. "Got it.”

Lovett pushes Dan inside as soon as the door opens. "Thank God, I was about to blow you out in the hallway."

Dan laughs and pulls him close, "I would let you." 

Lovett shivers. "Table that for later." 

Dan grins and kisses him tenderly, "bed now."

Lovett grins at him, tugging his own shirt off on the way to bed, needing as much contact as possible, immediately. Dan laughs and pushes him down onto the mattress. "You're so beautiful."

Lovett shakes his head, reaching for Dan’s hem. "I wanna see you."

Dan sighs and leans back to tug his shirt off, revealing pale skin, soft muscles, the smattering of dark hair.

Lovett grins and runs his hands up Dan's chest as soon as the shirt’s gone. "Beautiful."

Dan leans to kiss him again. "I’m all yours."

"I'm never letting you go again,” Lovett pulls him closer.

“Never,” Dan swears, rolling his hips.

Lovett reaches for his pants "I need you, now.”

"You've got me,” Dan kisses him again and then leans back to help shove them down, before taking his own off. 

Lovett rises on his elbows to watch. "Gorgeous, god."

"I’ve gained weight since last time,” Dan ducks his chin.

Lovett shakes his head and drops his hands to relearn every inch of Dan. "You look even better than before."

Dan laughs, "you need your eyes checked,” and presses down into Lovett.

Lovett pinches him, "I adore every bit of you."

"You too," Dan promises, ducking to kiss Lovett's chest.

Lovett shakes under him, holding Dan's shoulders, "Show me."

"Every inch,” Dan kisses down his chest. 

Lovett's muscles ripple under his lips. "Your mouth, I've missed it so much."

Dan sighs and kisses lower. "I've missed the way you taste."

Lovett arches into him, "please, love, please."

"I've got you.” Dan strokes his hips.

"Kiss me," Lovett pulls Dan’s head up. "And never stop."

Dan leans down to kiss him soundly. "Happily."

Lovett sighs into him. "God, I love you."

"God," Dan kisses him, deeper, "me too.”

Lovett pulls him down, sliding a leg around his ass to pull him closer. "You taste so good."

Dan moans, "You're so overwhelming. You feel so good."

"You too,” Lovett grins and pushes up into him. “Never thought I’d get this again."

Dan drops his head to kiss Lovett's neck, running his hands over Lovett’s chest. "Me neither. I thought I'd only get this in dreams"

Lovett strokes his head, "I love you so much Dan."

Dan shakes his head, desperately, leaning up to kiss him again. Lovett kisses him deeper, pushing his hips up and into Dan’s.

Dan shivers into him, "I'm so close already."

Lovett nods a little, breathing heavy. "Me too. This is so much."

Dan nods and kisses him again, getting his hand just barely around them both. "You too, you feel incredible."

Lovett's hips arch into Dan’s touch. "God, you’re so _good_."

Dan pushes down, squeezing tighter, "you are, I haven't- there's never been anyone like you.”

Lovett leans up to kiss him. “_Dan_."

"I love you Jon,” Dan whispers, kissing him deeply.

Lovett clings to him, "I love you so much."

Dan shivers and pushes into him. "Fuck, fuck, _Lovett_.”

Lovett kisses his face, "so much babe," grinding their hips together.

Dan pushes up, gasping out Lovett's name, his lips loose and searching.

Lovett arches to kiss him. "Come for me, love."

Dan whines deep in his throat and does, spilling across their stomachs and kissing Lovett desperately through it. Lovett leans into his mouth, gasping, and works Dan through it, touching himself at the same time.

Dan gasps, "come, love, I wanna feel you," even as he's still catching his breath. 

Lovett groans and arches up into him and does, more than he has in well over a year. Dan works him through it, loose and not nearly enough but Lovett doesn't care, just lost in Dan's touch and smell and voice.

They kiss and kiss and kiss after, moving slowly against each other, pressing together like they can become one being. 

Lovett doesn’t want to sleep, worried that he’ll wake up and it'll all have been a dream. That he’ll be on the couch with Pundit and a takeout box, even more hung up than before. 

Even so, he eventually drifts off, mid-sentence, without pulling away from Dan at all.

Lovett wakes up in the middle of the night, sticky and warm, and stares at Dan, tracing the lines on his face. He murmurs promises and apologies into the moonlight, still disbelieving that this is real.

Dan blinks awake after a few minutes to kiss him and pull him close again. 

Lovett rests against Dan’s chest. "I never wanna leave this bed."

"I never wanna leave you," Dan kisses his head

Lovett looks up at him, heart aching. "Do you really have to go to Santa Fe?"

“Probably, yeah,” Dan sighs and kisses his forehead. “You could come with me?”

Lovett hums thoughtfully. "I have to talk to Tanya about the schedule, but, yeah, I'd like that.” 

“In the morning,” Dan nods, pulling him close.

Lovett nods and leans up to kiss him. "I never want to leave you, for even a few hours."

“Probably unhealthy long term but I’m with you,” Dan laughs softly.

"We can cross the bridge later," Lovett kisses his chest. "For now I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Dan holds him tightly. “Same.”

Lovett burrows closer into Dan’s chest. "I love you."

Dan kisses his head, “I love you so much,” rubbing Lovett’s back slowly while Lovett drifts back to sleep.

***

Lovett blinks awake on Dan’s chest in the morning, Dan’s hands moving over his back and hips. 

He leans up to kiss Dan immediately, not giving a shit about either of their morning breath or scratchy chins. “Morning love.”

"Morning," Dan grins, kissing him deeply. "Best morning."

Lovett sighs happily. “It really is. Can we get room service for breakfast?”

Dan nods, already reaching for the phone without moving away, "What do you want?"

Lovett sighs into his chest. “Bacon?”

"We can do bacon,” Dan nods. “Pancakes?"

“Please,” Lovett hums happily.

Dan grins and orders them enough food for five people, before hanging up the phone and kissing Lovett’s head gently. Lovett stays sleepily curled into him until the knock on the door comes.

Dan kisses his head again. "I’ll be right back, don't move an inch."

Lovett laughs and leans back on the pillows to watch him go, whistling a little, appreciatively.

Dan groans, "fuck, it's so hard to leave you," and walks backwards to the door.

Lovett blows him a kiss, and orders, "bring me breakfast."

Dan snorts, "yes, your majesty," and turns to greet the porter.

Lovett giggles and watches him the whole time, leaning forward to grab for coffee as soon as Dan gets close to the bed.

Dan laughs, "so impatient," as he gets the tray settled and climbs back into bed.

Lovett leans into his chest immediately. "You know I need caffeine."

Dan chuckles and kisses the coffee off Lovett’s lips. "I do know that."

Lovett smiles and reaches for a piece of bacon. "This all looks amazing."

Dan grabs half the bacon from his fingers and doesn't look away from Lovett’s face as he murmurs, "the most amazing."

Lovett flushes a little and leans into him. "I meant breakfast, but you too."

"You too," Dan leans in for a kiss on the way to a pancake. 

Lovett sighs happily and grabs his own pancake. "This is perfect."

Dan grins, "Nothing would make it better.”

Lovett leans into his chest, "If we were at home with Pundit."

Dan holds him close. "That's true," he swallows audibly, “After this tour, I could- if you wanted- there's nothing I really need to do in San Francisco right away."

Lovett turns to kiss his cheek, heart in his throat. "I'd like nothing more. Please come home to me.”

"That sounds so good it hurts," Dan breathes, resting his chin on Lovett’s head.

Lovett sighs happily. "I know."

Dan kisses his shoulder, "after breakfast you need to call Tanya."

Lovett nods, “I know," he sighs a little "she’s gonna be annoying.”

"We deserve it," Dan grins.

Lovett sighs, "Everyone's going to be annoying."

"We deserve that too," Dan chuckles.

“Only kind of," Lovett argues. 

Dan grins so wide. "I want to show you off, I don't care what ribbing I have to endure for it."

Lovett kisses his neck, heart pounding. “Fuck, babe, me too.”

“And I want you with me on tour," Dan says pointedly.

Lovett shivers, “Okay okay. I’ll call Tanya.”

Dan grins and hands Lovett his phone. Lovett laughs, “here goes nothing.” 

Tanya answers with a clipped, "Lovett, it's 9:30, where are you?"

Lovett leans into Dan’s chest. “I actually called to talk about that.”

"I'm going to want to murder you, aren't I?" Tanya’s frown is audible through the phone.

Lovett sighs. “It depends. Can I work remotely for the next couple weeks? We’ve got one _Lovett or Leave It_ stored up and I’ll call in for Monday.”

He can hear Tanya's eyes narrow. "A couple weeks? Where are you going to be?"

Lovett takes a deep breath and squeezes Dan’s hand tightly. “On Dan’s book tour with him.”

Tanya pauses, opens her mouth, pauses again, then yells for Jon and Tommy.

“Fucking traitor,” Lovett sighs and leans against Dan’s chest.

Dan laughs deep in his chest, "We weren't keeping it from them anyway."

Lovett sighs, "No but I was hoping to ease in," and clicks his phone to speaker.

Dan kisses his neck, "No easing in this time."

Lovett swallows and turns to kiss him for real. "Just with our asshole friends," he promises.

Dan nods and kisses him back, whispering, "I'll hold you to that."

Tommy walks into Tanya’s office on the other end of the phone. "What's happening?"

"Where's Jon?” she asks wildly. “Come here, come here. Huge news."

"Overpromising," Lovett calls weakly.

“No way to over promise this," Tanya says, gleefully.

Dan kisses Lovett’s head, quietly encouraging. Lovett squeezes his hand tightly. 

"Now I'm curious,” Tommy says, “What's going on?"

“Get your better half,” Tanya says firmly. 

Tommy sighs, footsteps echoing away before he calls down the hall, "Jon! Hurry!"

Jon comes in a minute later, grumbling, "Where’s the fire?"

"Hurry,” Tanya growls, “Lovett has some news to share."

"Have I ever mentioned that I hate you Tanya?" Lovett sighs into the phone.

She audibly smirks. "You owe me this, in exchange for so, so many things.”

Lovett growls a little. She’s fucking right, of course. Dan squeezes his shoulder, calming.

Jon sighs heavily. "I really do have other things to be doing. What is this about?"

Lovett takes a deep breath. "I- ah... we have something to tell you."

"We? Who's there?" Tommy asks confusedly.

Dan tilts his head at Lovett and Lovett nods slowly. Might as well jump. 

"Hey guys," Dan says a little sheepishly.

Jon screams, "_What?!_"

Tanya giggles maniacally, “Tommy’s jaw literally dropped.”

Lovett turns to kiss Dan with the widest grin. 

"I can hear that!" Jon grumbles

Lovett twists back to hum innocently, "What?"

“Stop making out and tell us how this happened," Jon glowers.

Lovett giggles, "maybe I don't want to."

"You can't call us with this and not tell us,” Tommy threatens. “We'll disown you both."

Dan laughs softly. "Lovett came to my book signing last night."

"You said you had game night," Jon accuses.

"I lied," Lovett says easily, leaning into Dan’s chest.

“Why?" Tommy asks, "what changed?"

Lovett smirks. "He wrote a book about me."

Tommy coughs and Jon sighs, "We’re going to be paying for this for a long time, aren't we?"

"Yes," Lovett cackles.

Dan grins. "No question."

"In our defense..." Jon sighs 

Lovett hums, "Yes, please, continue, how would you like to finish that sentence?"

"Quit while you’re ahead Jon," Tommy laughs.

Jon sighs again. "Shutting up.”

Lovett grins at Dan, "Anyway I'm taking the next few weeks out of the office."

Tommy gapes. "A few weeks? Where are you going? If you're fucking off to the Bahamas, I swear to God."

“Book tour's not over yet," Dan grins.

Jon swallows. "You're going on book tour? Lovett- two days ago you were ranting against marriage on stage"

Dan stiffens a little.

Lovett twists to frown at him. "I was working through a bit of, um, missing you, by misplacing my anger on stage."

Dan strokes his arm carefully. "Yeah?"

Lovett nods and leans into him, swallowing hard, "Yeah. Decided I was coming to the tour while I was ranting, actually."

Dan breathes him in deeply. "Thank god."

Lovett nods, "yeah," and leans closer, "promise I didn't mean it."

Dan kisses his cheek. "I know love."

"This is ridiculous," Jon calls through the phone. "How didn't we know this was happening?"

“You told me I was crazy,” Lovett laughs, smug now that he’s been proven right.

Tommy sighs. "What crazy bastard writes about his love affair in a New York Times bestselling novel?"

Dan laughs and pulls Lovett closer. “Guilty as charged.”

Lovett leans into it. "I told them I knew you."

“You do,” Dan kisses his head.

"Yeah, yeah, we were wrong,” Jon sighs, “clearly Dan is just dumber than we thought."

“Hey,” Lovett protests.

Dan snorts into his neck, "I'll take it, babe."

“I won’t,” Lovett frowns.

Tanya laughs, "As much as I want to keep this ribbing up forever, and you do deserve it, how long is this book tour?"

Dan kisses Lovett’s head. “I’ve got another two and a half weeks, I’ll email you the schedule.”

"I'll call in for meetings and the pod," Lovett promises.

Tanya sighs, “will you though?”

Lovett frowns. "Of course I will. When have I ever not?"

“You’re gonna cherry pick meetings but I believe you,” Jon sighs.

Lovett shrugs. "Yeah, well, I'm not a monster."

“Maybe we can get you a last minute Lovett or Leave It somewhere,” Tanya hums speculatively. 

Lovett grins. "Dan can be a guest, so, we’d only need two more."

Dan laughs softly. “I can?”

Lovett nods. "I'm traveling around the country for 3 weeks, you can do two hours on my podcast."

"Was more asking if you really wanted me on," Dan kisses him.

Lovett nudges him. "Of course I do. My listeners have missed you."

"Now that I don't believe," Dan snorts.

Tommy laughs nervously, "He's not lying. We've been getting tweets."

Dan shakes his head a little and takes a deep breath. "Well, that’s settled then."

Lovett nods. "Tell me who I need to call, Tanya?"

Tanya sighs, "I’ll send you your orders later. I need to look at the schedule."

“Dan when are you leaving LA? Can we get lunch or dinner?" Jon pipes in.

Lovett groans and leans into Dan, "You don't have to say yes."

"Of course we can, and tomorrow,” Dan laughs and kisses Lovett's head. 

Lovett groans again as Jon grins. "Good. Tonight, that new place on sunset. Lovett's been wanting to try it."

"Blackmail," Lovett sighs.

Dan kisses him gently. "We'd love to."

"Dan would love to," Lovett corrects, "I'm coming under duress."

Jon shrugs, "whatever you have to tell yourself. We'll see you at five for cocktails.”

Dan laughs softly, “We’ll be there. Tanya, I’ll send you that email.”

"See that you do, and I'll get to work," Tanya nods.

"Don't have too much fun," Tommy singsongs.

Lovett flips off the phone and hangs up on them.

Dan pushes him into the mattress immediately. "I love you."

Lovett grins up at him, “cause I’m a brat to our friends?”

"You are awful,” Dan laughs.

“They deserve it," Lovett shrugs.

Dan nods, "I can't disagree with that, but I also wanna take you out to dinner."

“You could take me to dinner without them.” Lovett sighs and leans into him.

Dan laughs, "I will tomorrow, promise."

Lovett grins and pulls him down into a kiss. “Holding you to that.”

"You can hold me to that every day for the rest of our lives," Dan promises.

Lovett grins into him. “I love you.”

"You too, so much," Dan kisses down his neck.

Lovett sighs and arches into him. “I’m really into this, but Pundit’s gonna destroy the house in rage if we don’t get home to her soon.

Dan pulls him up immediately, already reaching for clothes. "I wanna see Pundit."

Lovett grins and leans into him, “She’s gonna be happy to see you.”

"I hope so,” Dan sighs.

Lovett pulls back to frown at him. “Of course she is.” He swallows a little, “she waited at the door for you for months, after.”

Dan freezes, his face twisting. "For months, I got up to feed her every evening."

Lovett pulls Dan close again, heart aching. “I’m so sorry love. We both missed you so much.”

"I missed you both, more than I ever thought possible," Dan kisses him gently.

Lovett leans into him, deepening the kiss before he pulls back slowly. "Let's go get our girl then."

Dan shivers at _our_. "I have a shirt you can borrow."

"Good,” Lovett grins, reaching for it as Dan holds it out. “I need to pack a bag too."

"That sounds good," Dan grins as he grabs his keys and wallet. "Let's go then."

Lovett laughs and links their elbows, “I’m ready.”

Dan keeps him close, kissing him in the elevator on the way down. Lovett leans into him, thrilling as they get a few looks in the lobby.

Dan kisses behind his ear, "you like me showing you off."

"That's not a secret," Lovett laughs softly.

Dan stops him in the lobby to kiss him, full mouthed. Lovett leans into him, going up on his toes.

Dan groans, "Fuck, now I wanna take you back upstairs."

Lovett laughs and pulls back, "Pundit," he reminds Dan. "And my bed if we want it." He trips a little. "Our bed?"

Dan catches him easily. "Ours, I hope."

"Ours," Lovett grins at him. "All the time if you'll stay."

It's Dan's turn to trip. "All the time? Like, move in?"

Lovett swallows a little and holds Dan steady. "Yeah. I do."

Dan rights himself and stops him. "I want nothing more, but, this is a big step."

"I know,” Lovett nods, certain. “I told you I want more this time."

Dan nods. "Okay, then, I'm in."

"Let me take you home," Lovett grins and pulls him close.

Dan sighs so happily. "Say that again."

Lovett leads him outside and into the car. "We're going home."

Dan shivers and leans into him. "Home."

"Home," Lovett kisses Dan’s cheek, sliding behind the wheel.

Dan rests a hand on Lovett’s knee, watching LA zoom by, as he asks questions about what he's missed. Lovett answering him in short happy sentences that promise more later.

Dan smiling and nodding absently, before finally asking, "Do dogs get angry?"

Lovett laughs softly and squeezes Dan’s hand. "Sometimes."

"What if Pundit is mad?" Dan swallows.

Lovett shrugs, "She'll get over it. But, I don't think she will be."

Dan nods, biting his lip nervously as they pull into the neighborhood.

Lovett squeezes his hand. “Welcome home, love.”

Dan turns to look at him, eyes soft and happy, and kisses Lovett deeply. Lovett kisses him back quickly and then pulls back to open the car door.

Dan gets out and stops, looking up at the house and taking a deep breath.

Lovett squeezes his hand, reassuring. “She’s gonna be so happy to see you.”

Dan nods and squeezes as he walks up the drive, smiling nervously as he hears Pundit barking inside. Lovett grins and digs for his key.

Dan hangs back, watches Lovett get on his knees to greet Pundit and apologize for leaving her all night.

Lovett looks up after a second. “Pundo, look who’s home.”

She hesitates for a millisecond, then twines around Dan's legs, throwing her entire body at him.

Dan chokes back a sob and drops to his knees. “Hi honey.”

She climbs onto his thighs and licks his tears, woofing happily.

Dan pets her head, crying freely. “Hey Pundit, I missed you love.”

Lovett leans next to them, resting his chin on Dan's shoulder and petting her head. "She missed you."

Dan sighs happily and leans into him. "I missed her. Can we take her to dinner with us?"

"She'll want half your tacos, but, I can call and get us a patio table," Lovett grins.

Dan grins and pulls Pundit close. "Price I’m more than willing to pay." Pundit settles in his arms, her paws over his elbow, clearly not going anywhere. Dan kisses her head. “Hey angel.”

Lovett grins at them, pulling his phone out for a photo that he sends Jon and Tommy immediately, then reaches for Dan’s hand to tug him over the threshold. 

“Welcome home love,” Lovett smiles up at him. 

Dan leans to kiss him, squishing Pundit between them. “This might be the best day of my life.”

“Many more to come,” Lovett promises.


End file.
